Some of you just got excited and others just cringed. We see both extremes with couples planning their weddings. Some decide not to invite kids at all, while others encourage their attendance. We’re here for all of it! Keep in mind when deciding, there will be families who ask for clarity, no matter how you address their invitation. Be prepared for this and know how to respond before you send out invitations.

Drawing clear lines is key. For example, “I’m sorry, but we decided to have an adult-only party with the exception of the flower girl and ring bearer.” This is clear and rarely offends guests. It gets tricky when the kids you ask to be in the wedding have siblings. Take that on a case by case basis. If you opt not to invite the rest of the kids, consider gifting the parents with some cash to help cover the cost of a sitter. As you and your soon-to-be contemplate who to invite, rest assured that it doesn’t matter where you draw the line. It just needs to be clear to explain. If you find yourself in a cyclical debate about asking kids to be in the bridal party, try to think outside of the box. Consider asking grandma and grandpa to do it instead. Don’t forget to have tissues handy, though.

If you want to have kids included in the bridal party, there are some things to keep in mind. First, be prepared for a melt down. We see it from our friends in the terrible twos age range, but we also see some older kids who get stage fright. Try not to put too much pressure on them and definitely have them attend the rehearsal. It will make them feel much better. Second, don’t skip on giving them a gift! It doesn’t need to be the same caliber as what you get the rest of the bridal party, but try a new coloring book with crayons. This is something that could keep them entertained during the reception as well. #efficient

If you’re inviting all the kids you know, be sure to have something to entertain them during the reception. Some couples opt to hire a sitter who can take care of them at a designated space, separate from where moms and dads are in sight. This enables parents to enjoy the party and not have to leave early to relieve a sitter at home.